My brother Ben’s advice during any existential crisis was to “write it down” and I found that infuriating. I thought writing it down made things real and true and unchangeable. These were problems I wanted to go away, not immortalize in stone (or in my diary, as he would have encouraged). The irony is not lost on me that after nearly 40 years of resisting his advice, I wrote approximately 75,000 words about the worst thing that has ever happened to me.
A very surprising thing happened when I wrote all those words. The worst thing that happened didn’t somehow become more true. In fact, I felt… better? Not over it, never over it, but like I had a relationship with it. Writing the words helped me to accept, and even appreciate, my grief.
In less than two short months, those words will be out in the world. I’m excited and terrified and, mostly, so supremely proud. Proud of myself and proud of the 350 siblings who contributed to the creation of this resource. It’s the book I desperately needed, and my goal is to make sure this book finds its way to the people who need it now just as much as I did then.
Preorders matter a lot - much more than I ever realized before.
Preorders indicate early demand for the book; bookstores use preorder numbers to determine how many they’ll order and publishers use them when deciding how many copies to print. More preorders mean more copies of the book end up stocked in bookstores and online retailers, making it easier to find for those who need this resource right now. I went into a bookstore looking for a book on sibling grief when I was deep in my grief, and I found nothing. I thought that meant my loss didn’t matter. I don’t want that to happen to anyone else, not anymore.
There are also marketing benefits of preorders. They can help get the book on bestseller lists and garner early media attention, which is yet another way to help siblings feel seen and get this resource into their hands. Your support can make a difference.
As a thank you for taking the time and resources to support this book, I’m offering an advanced copy of the introduction and exclusive playlist to everyone who preorders and it’s available NOW! All you need to do is fill out this form and submit proof of preorder and the chapter and playlist will appear in your inbox. Magic!
This is the part where I ask for your help spreading the word, so we can get more preorders and ensure this book is available to folks who need it. I’ll make it easy! Here’s a handy media kit that contains shareable images, sample captions, and everything you need to copy/paste your way to book promotion gold. Want to go rogue and post something else? Go for it!
Last but certainly not least, I’m thrilled to announce that I’ll be kicking off my book tour on May 29th in conversation with the extraordinary Emily Oster at RJ Julia in Madison, Connecticut. I’d love to see you there and will share more details once tickets are available.
If you have an idea for a book event please reach out!
Now on to the good stuff…
Not timely, just delightful
Colorful illustrations + family portraits. This one is a double doozy because colorful illustrations and family portraits are each delightful on their own, and I managed to get them both. This year for my husband’s birthday, I commissioned a family portrait from one of my favorite illustrators, Wednesay Holmes. Obviously, this means I got it for myself under the guise of a gift, but I’m ok with that. We got the portrait this week and each time I see it, I smile from ear to ear. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to look at it without smiling. 10/10
I’m an audiobook narrator? This month I spent 4 days in a cozy recording booth at a beautiful studio in New Haven recording the audiobook for Always a Sibling. When I read those final words, “This has been a Hachette Audio production of Always a Sibling: The Forgotten Mourner’s Guide to Grief” I almost burst into tears. I did eventually cry (a lot), but I managed to make it to the car first. Reading those words put a big ol’ period at the end of the sentence that has been the creation of this book, and the combination of joy, relief, and pride was overwhelming. I cannot wait for you to hear it. 10/10.
Siegfried & Joy are perhaps the textbook definition of a “one hit wonder” and yet, for me, that one hit just never gets old. The two comedic magicians have only one trick, and every time I see them do it I genuinely laugh out loud. The Celine Dion music helps, so be sure to watch with your volume up. Check out my own video inspired by Siegfried & Joy here. 10/10
Hello! I grabbed your book at the library, as I’m currently losing my “baby” brother to addiction. Thank you so much for writing this! I’m in a prolonged state of ambiguous and anticipatory grief—I’ve accepted I’m not ever getting my pre-addiction brother back, but if a miracle happens, he might survive the addiction and recover, and I’ll have a “new” brother. And yet it’s so severe and these odds are so low, I’m already planning for the worst.