Creativity and Grief
A look back at the past few months, and a glimpse of the weeks to come
It’s been nearly 4 months since Always a Siblings hit shelves, and about once a week I’ve thought to myself, “I should really send out an update. But… what would I say besides thank you?” In the wake of the book release, for perhaps the first time in my life, I have found myself without words. I’ve wondered if this can be considered a form of writer’s block, or if I’m just uniquely awkward when it comes to talking about myself. Most likely, it’s a little of both.
In these 4 months, I’ve had experiences beyond my wildest dreams
I’ve gotten messages from surviving siblings around the world telling me that Always a Sibling brought them hope and comfort, that they saw themselves and their brothers and sisters reflected on the pages, and that they feel seen - maybe for the first time.
The book has gotten overwhelmingly positive reviews from grief experts, surviving siblings, and even on Goodreads (which is saying a lot because folks on Goodreads are notoriously tough).
My son went to the same sleepaway camp my husband and I went to, the one I wrote about, and he loved it.
I was interviewed on NPR twice (LifeKit and Morning Edition), so basically I’m Terry Gross.
I successfully grew tomatoes and cucumbers.
I’ve been a guest on over a dozen podcasts (links to some below!) and have loved every single one. It turns out that I love being in conversation about this stuff.
I had book launch events in CT and LA, and this fall I’ll be in Washington, DC and Great Barrington, MA. Details below!
My kids have often insisted we go visit the book at our local bookstore.
It’s been a lot, and when I see it in a list like this I understand why I’m so tired.
Looking ahead, I can feel my body start to return to that place of deep grief in the weeks leading up to the anniversary of Ben’s death on October 2nd. There’s a weight that always seems to settle over me in September, making its presence and that pesky anticipatory grief known. I suspect you can see it in my eyes, I know I can.
I’ve found calm and sanity in the one thing that I always come back to - creativity. Some days I feel like a spinning top and the only thing that can slow down the otherwise uncontrollable whirling is to do something tactile with my hands. These days it usually comes in the form of drawing or coloring because paper and markers are all I need and there is no clean up required. This summer I’ve found myself coloring on airplanes, in hotel rooms, while watching TV, with my kids, and sometimes in the small moments in-between. Am I “good” at drawing? No, not really, but I can draw shapes and fill them with color and faces and be my full weird self on the page.
That brings me to this month’s delights…
Sharpie Creative Markers - I love a good paint marker and usually I’m a Posca girl but Sharpie recently came out with a much more affordable alternative and let me tell you - the coverage is excellent. Want to doodle with bold bright colors? Customize your favorite water bottle, shoes, or notebook? These markers are perfection.
Zines - Zines are small, handmade magazines that are often one-off or part of a small run, sometimes made using a xerox machine or a simple printer. They’re not fancy, but they’re full of love and passion and you can find one for just about any niche interest you have. I just ordered this one from an artist in Australia and have been checking the mailbox daily! I’d like to make one myself, something that can be easily done with just a single sheet of paper. Stay tuned for the results…
Libby - I’m a big audiobook fan and listen to them every chance I get. My son has caught the audiobook bug too and listens to them at bedtime. My favorite platform to get unlimited audiobooks is Libby - you just log in with your local library card and voila! Audiobooks galore. Happy listening!
A sampling of recent podcast interviews:
Grief and Light - Nina and Annie explore the profound impact of sibling relationships on identity and how it shapes the grieving process.
Making Meaning - Join host Reese Brown as she sits down with Grief Expert Annie Sklaver Orenstein to discuss her personal experience with losing her eldest brother, the way sibling relationships change our personhood, and how grief impacts the way we make meaning.
Grief’d Up - Rebecca and Annie discuss how sibling grief is often the least recognized form of familial grief. They highlight the concept of "forgotten mourners" and discuss why sibling loss is rarely given the same attention as the loss of a parent or child.
A Place of Yes - Annie shares the deeply personal story of losing her older brother, Ben, and sheds light on how sibling grief is often overlooked in society. As Heather reflects on her own family’s journey after the loss of her son, Jake, she gains invaluable insights on how to support her surviving son, Ethan, better.
Upcoming events:
10/4/24 Temple Sinai, Washington DC
12/8/24 Hevreh of Southern Berkshire. Details to come!